For example, « You seem irritated by that comment — am I right? » These strategies both prevent misunderstandings and show your partner that you’re paying attention to them and care about what they’re saying. Ultimately, dealing with someone who is difficult can be an unpleasant, stress-inducing experience. But being pharmacologic management of alcohol dependence equipped with the tools to deal with the situation can help you find an effective resolution. The strategy you use to deal with an uncooperative coworker can be different than how you’d handle a rude, critical family member. And both of those methods can change when you’re dealing with a difficult friend.

  1. I inadvertently learned that a successful relationship (they were married 54 years when my dad died) meant that you didn’t argue at all!
  2. When two people avoid conflict, it can often lead to a decrease in physical intimacy.
  3. If you experience this, keep reading for information on how to deal with a conflict avoidant spouse.
  4. You can avoid many confrontations and resolve arguments and disagreements by communicating in a humorous way.
  5. Realize you will never be able to reason with the unreasonable.
  6. Even if they try not to argue with you, this doesn’t mean they are lying.

All articles are written in conjunction with the Makin Wellness research team. The content on this page is not a replacement for professional diagnosis, treatment, or informed advice. It is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before making any decisions or taking action. Early in my career I took a job reporting to someone who had a reputation for being difficult. Plenty of people warned me that she would be hard to work with, but I thought I could handle it. I prided myself on being able to get along with anyone.

Don’t automatically object to your partner’s complaints.

Today you’re going to learn my top three tips to not get triggered by family so you can find… As they don’t share their true thoughts and feelings, they feel more and more unsafe and can actually blame their partner for why they’re not sharing! This emotional withdrawal shows up in a number of ways, but they all equal distance in the relationship. When approaching the person with whom you are in conflict, you might acknowledge the discomfort you feel before explaining why you believe it is important to talk things through. If you believe you have been wronged, rather than lashing out in anger, present your interpretation of the situation, and ask the other person to describe how they see things.

Disagreements can cause significant stress, so it tends to be best to find ways to communicate with one another about the issue instead of letting a problem fester. Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior.

Online Therapy: Is it Right for You?

Therapy and anxiety-management techniques might also help you cope during conflict. At its core, conflict avoidance is really people-pleasing, so it’s a form of codependency. The conflict avoidant person will make themselves uncomfortable in order to not make anyone else upset or uncomfortable.

How to Talk to Someone Who Is Always Defensive

They may also act passive-aggressive or resort to name-calling or insults. With HCPs, this means accepting that their behaviors and ways of communicating and interpreting reality will likely not change. What can change are your strategies and understanding of their personality limitations. Most often, the reason for ongoing unresolved conflict in a relationship is because the high-conflict personality lacks the emotional maturity to engage in consistent relationship repair after a rupture.

Conflict 101

Developing a better understanding of why you are hesitant to bring up an issue within your relationship may help you better express yourself to your partner, leading to more impactful conversations. Sometimes, a little self-reflection can provide significant insight into the core issues in your relationship and even into some of your most fundamental fears in life. For more minor problems or instances when both couples aren’t able to change, confrontation involving affection and validation showed to be most effective for resolving conflict. A 2018 study revealed that direct confrontation for severe problems is most beneficial for couples in relationships where both partners are able to change. A 2011 research study found that high conflict avoidance in a relationship will likely cause relationship dissatisfaction for women, but not necessarily for men.

For example, deciding a late friend doesn’t care enough to be on time, or that a tired partner is denying sex out of passive-aggressiveness. If you’re defensive in disagreements, you can speak to a mental health professional to better understand and lessen your defensive behaviors. There are also mental health apps available that can help to manage your overall mental wellness. If you want to have a constructive discussion, you need to stick to one issue at a time.

The challenges occur because a relationship consists of two individuals, each with their own goals, motives, and desires that don’t always align with one another. Leaving conflicts unresolved leads to pent-up frustration and a greater sense of loneliness that can build up over time. Being aware of how your emotions impact you can help you gain a greater understanding of yourself and others. reminding yourself that a sober life is a better life Before confronting someone, try examining and questioning your feelings. Conflict avoidance is a type of people-pleasing behavior that typically arises from a deep rooted fear of upsetting others. Remember, you’ve got to connect to correct so showing empathy and compassion if your partner is a conflict avoider is the best way to create a space where they’ll start sharing what’s real.

On the other hand, it may be helpful for your partner to reach out for mental health support if they feel like they want to. Anytime you cannot work through an issue weighing on your relationship, this can become a problem. Having a spouse who avoids confrontation can cause you to be unable to hash things out and compromise. Even if they try not to argue with you, this doesn’t mean they are lying. While it may be challenging when faced with how to deal with someone who avoids conflict, it is possible, so consider all the things you know about your partner and keep learning more. Avoiding conflict may harm your relationship because it may feel like your bond isn’t real.

In my clinical experience, many clients seek therapy because of ongoing relationships with people with high-conflict personalities. These can include parents, adult children, ex-spouses, and others with whom they must frequently interact. This may be able to work for a while in a relationship but having a conflict avoidant partner may cause you to feel like you will be unable to work out your problems. Issues may never seem to get handled because you cannot talk to them.

Tips for Solving Relationship Conflicts

Another communication strategy is incorporating laughter into the situation when appropriate. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Mental health and wellness tips, our latest guides, resources, and more. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive others. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can serve only to deplete and drain your life. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worth your time and energy.

How to Approach Relationships with High-Conflict Personalities

“A lot of people anticipate that talking about how they feel is going to be a confrontation,” psychologist Jennice Vilhauer told the New York Times. Therefore, it is essential if you are dealing with conflict avoidance. new life house sober living 22 photos You will be able to resolve conflicts healthily and build a stronger relationship. In learning how to deal with a conflict avoidant spouse, you shouldn’t get your hopes up too high that change will happen quickly.